When searching for „change“ or „transformation“, you can find an endless stream of blogs and videos and books out there. You can read about how to change, and how not to change. You can read about weight loss and weight gain, procrastination and addiction, neediness and habits. You can read about great people, and successful people, and their top 10 tactics and strategies to how they got to the top. You can read it all, and apparently there is a huge demand for content like this.
Having gone through — or at least pursued — change myself, I have read and watched and listened to a lot of content about that. And, indeed, some of it is really helpful: managing habits, fighting addiction, getting your act together, taking matters in your own hands, etc. Though, for some reason, these did not help me implementing sustainable change. Something was missing. A decision was not enough. White-knuckling was not enough. And for a long time I thought that I was not good enough in accepting the situation to really implement change. And what does it actually mean to accept the situation? Why it that important? Why should an addict first accept their addiction in order to then work on removing it? Why is it the first step? So many questions, so few answers.
I now think that there are multiple parts at play. Acceptance on an intellectual level allows to acknowledge the impact of current actions and thoughts on my life. It allows to get comfortable with myself, as I can now see a reason behind everything I do and think. It allows to create space. This space is what can be really valuable in the pursuit of change. It can be dangerous as well. There were countless moments where I was on the verge of giving up and getting even worse. A lot of relapses and breaks in the pursuit. Having that space can make you getting hostile against yourself, because it’s you who is sustaining your current situation.
Yes, it’s important to manage this. But I think there is one thing, which is maybe even more important. And it could be indeed the very first step. I experienced this transforming moment in a self-made retreat in Israel. I created space externally by just sitting around in my AirBnb and not doing anything. Just sitting on the couch and looking at the flat. When stripping away all the distractions, feelings start to show up. And listening to them is another level of acceptance. Acceptance on an emotional level happens, when you are sitting with yourself, and are open to how you feel about your life. This acceptance can reveal a powerful feeling. In my case it was a feeling of „being sick of it“. I noticed that the feeling was deep and strong, and that it was associated with a lot of the things I wanted to change. And I decided to use that feeling as an anchor. After all, feelings always trump rational thought, right?
After really diving deep into that feeling, it was easy to derive a plan, set dates, and just start into the transformation. More than 30 days in, I struggle with new things, but the progress didn’t stop. I’m still on track, and I’m very happy that I found this way. Sure, there was quite a long prelude to this success — and the sustainability is yet to be shown — but I feel confident right now. It actually feels easy, and somewhat exciting.
I want to devote this series to my transformation. This was the beginning, the key moment that kick-started a new chapter for me. Greatness Requires Foundation, and this is one path to go about it.